Heads up! Seriously, look up.

31 08 2009

Wait, what’s that? You’re staring at your ceiling or someone else’s ceiling or my ceiling (get out of my house), and you’re wondering why you feel so dumb. In which case, you probably aren’t reading this screen anyway. In any case, for our remaining captive audience, check out that address bar!

That’s right! We’ve got a boner-fide, genu-wine domain name. Be sure to update your blogrolls and your hott-links. Also, check out our Films page for a new scintillating, titillating video Julesy did for your favorite burlesque dancer and ours, Vagina Jenkins!

Let us know what you think of the new video (we’re comment whores, and we need more love).

-JHG





Bland Hack lunch meeting across the USA

25 08 2009

After getting some news of a potential gig coming up (I know, right?) and some other pressing matters, Jules and I decided to do what any business professionals would do and made a lunch date out of it. What they wouldn’t do (probably) is venture up Buford Highway for their dejeuner.

We got sidetracked at first (go figure). After all, we both really needed to stop and rent some of the latest blockbusters from this touchstone of video rental chains:

mydung1

By this point, we were both basically starving, but Julian being Julian, we just had — HAD — to stop by Chicago and visit a friend of ours (some call her the “third” ‘member’ of Bland Hack):

oprah

We finally made it to a restaurant (after finding the Korean place we wanted to try was closed on Tuesdays), only to find that they had NO IDEA how to make food. I got noodles covered in snot and Jules got duck and rice, except the duck looked as if it had been fed a grenade before it was turned into a pile of bones and gristle and black sauce. APPETIZING, EH?

Other items of note on the menu: Fried Viscera, Pig Blood Intestine, Sliced Stomach with Sour Sauce.

With such inspiring stimuli, we had a very productive meeting. Stay tuned for more news, plus a new video soon!

-JHG





Behind the scenes; also Dracula

10 08 2009

We had another shoot last Tuesday in this sweltering, disgusting heat. Luckily the lovely actors of Twinhead don’t sweat, so the shoot went marvelously!

We’re slowly getting footage for a new parody trailer, which are both fun and laborious because each shot takes about three seconds to set-up and shoot, but there are A HUNDRED of them. They’re definitely less stressful, and I’m going to somehow rework every idea I have in my little notebook to be a parody trailer of something. Then, I’ll start parodying the parody trailers I’ve already made, and then parody those parodies, until a veritable Möbius strip of parody trailers emerges from our YouTube channel and tears the fabric of the space/time continuum as we know it.

Anyway, here’s some pictures of Rob in Spandex.

jazzerciser

What’s the short about? Well, that’d ruin the surprise, but if you follow us on Twitter, you’d have a clue or two by now.

On an unrelated note, I just watched Bram Stoker’s Dracula last night, after finally finishing the book I bought 9 years ago and reading over the past 4 months. The movie was completely bizarre, just all over the place, but really fascinating to watch. It felt like a madman was behind the camera. Nothing made any sense, but at the same time it was very consistently inconsistent.

One thing it had going for it was the incredible pace it kept. It’s the shortest 2 hour movie I’ve ever seen, for sure. I think part of why it looked so absurd/bad is because Coppola (so I read) decided to eschew any computers in his typical curmudgeon fashion and used either in-camera effects or just plain old-school tricks. It ends up looking like a completely inconsistent mess. Everything from the color timing to the gaudy outfits and sets, even the framings looked like Sam Raimi shot it rather than Coppola.

In any case, I think I’m going to watch it again. It’s a pretty poor adaption, opting to add a bunch of sex and boobs rather than adhere to the Victorian awkwardness about sex. The characters have no motivation at all. Did I mention it also stars Cary Elwes!? He and Keanu basically are having a bad-accent duel the entire film. Keanu wins, however, with his implacable pronunciation of “inferno.” But beside that, it’s visually fascinating, and it seems to have been fairly well-praised when it was released, but that’s probably just critics favoring a great director failing to notice he went off the rails completely.

-JHG